Give Yourself Time to Breathe
Our world is full of noise and distractions. Social media alerts, emails, texts, TV shows and movies, these are all great to have, but they can consume our lives. I say this because it’s pretty much done that for mine. I average about 5 hours a day on my phone, and most of that is from using Twitter, which provides a constant stream of up-to-date news, conversations, and more.
I love Twitter, I love Instagram, I love TV. These things can be used for keeping up with news, friends, and for entertainment. I’m not writing this to say we should stop using technology. But I do think we should add in more time for quiet reflection, for breathing room.
There’s a Mister Rogers quote that came up again for me the other day, which you can watch here. He said, “I don’t think we give that gift anymore (the gift of silence). I’m very concerned that our society is much more interested in information than wonder. In noise, rather than silence…how do we encourage reflection? Oh my, this is a noisy world.”
It can be a struggle to quietly reflect. Maybe family, friends, or roommates are always around. Maybe we get frustrated with our own thoughts going everywhere. But if you don’t try, you’ll never know how much it can benefit you.
I find it easiest to sit and reflect and just exist when I’m outside. I try to find a quiet spot among some trees, or wherever it may be, and just be. I love this in the summer, when I can feel warm, and the world seems to be at peace. My phone is silenced, and I stare at the view, or at the sky, and reflect on my life, where I’m at, and how I can improve.
This isn’t always possible in the winter, however. During the winter, a warm shower can be a good place to reflect, as long as I don’t put on music while I shower. The same can be said for longer drives. Or maybe you can find a quiet spot by a window or a fire to reflect.
But why should we find time and places to do this? Life is so busy, it might not feel worth it.
In a Harvard Business Review article, author Jennifer Porter wrote, “Reflection gives the brain an opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning. This meaning becomes learning, which can then inform future mindsets and actions.”
Another article, from Zen Habits, lists some reasons why reflection is beneficial. It says, “It helps you learn from your mistakes… it gives you great ideas… it helps you help others… it makes you happier… it gives you perspective.”
When we take time to reflect, we may feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. That’s a good thing. Growth occurs from uncomfortable places. If we never recognize where we might need improvement, we’ll simply never improve. And by doing so, our relationships can be strengthened, and we can develop more empathy for others. Our perspectives may change, and we may realize something we didn’t before, or even something we were subconsciously suppressing.
Or perhaps you have a problem you can’t seem to work through. It reminds me of the story of the two people chopping down a tree with an ax. One kept going at it, and another too time periodically to sharpen his ax. The latter one chopped down the tree faster, because a sharper ax was ultimately a better tool.
Reflection can be like sharpening our own axes. If we’re struggling to work through something, we can take time to think about it in the quiet, with no distractions. We may discover different approaches or methods to use that we hadn’t thought of before. If we don’t reflect, and keep trying to attack the issue without pause, we may become exhausted, we may want to give up, or it may not be solved in the most productive or beneficial way. Through reflection, we develop greater mental sharpness, as well as more trust in ourselves and more humility to grow and change.
Reflection is more beneficial when you take more time for it, maybe about 30 minutes, or more if needed. But if that’s too much to start with, try 10 minutes, or 5. But you don’t want to stress about the clock, so keep that in mind. Many successful reflections of mine have been spontaneity, but scheduled reflection can be just as good if that’s what you need. Set aside some time during the day, maybe when you would typically be watching TV or on your phone, and use it to quietly reflect.
Reflection can also help us the ability to be quiet when we need to be quiet. Sometimes a friend or family member is going through a hard time, and all they want is someone to sit with them, not saying anything. This can be hard when our first instinct is to say or do something. Reflection gives us the ability to just be there, with no expectations of action. I’ve appreciated friends and family who just sit with me during hard times. A simple, quiet presence is enough.
I’ve found that when I do take time to reflect, I also feel personally calmer, more at peace, and more capable of handling the pressures of my life. It’s not a cure-all, it’s not a substitute for medication or counseling if you have mental health issues, but it’s a great supplement to a busy life in a noisy world.
Let’s give ourselves the gift of silence.
