Charity in a Chaotic World

As a Zillennial, I like to spend a fair amount of time on social media. I love to use Twitter and Instagram because I enjoy seeing what friends are doing and finding out what’s going on in the world with just a few taps on my phone. Social media can be good in those ways, but it becomes obvious to see, through more social media usage, that our world is in disarray. People are trying to present their best selves and show the world that they are the prettiest, the smartest, the most giving, the most adventurous, whatever it might be.

On Twitter and I’ll bet on Facebook, there is often a lot of anger and hate being spread from different sides of issues, be they religious, political, or other. Some of it may even be justifiable, with all the injustices going on in this country and the world, and yet it can be hard to have peace amidst all of this turmoil. Some people handle this by shutting out the outside world completely, using no media and rarely watching the news. This isn’t entirely a bad thing if your mental health is being affected, but if you’re anything like me, it can be difficult. I like to stay informed; I don’t like to feel ignorant of the issues of the world I live in, but this means I often feel overwhelmed and drained, because everything seems so bad.

So how do we deal with this in our lives? How do we handle living in a world that is often filled with hatred and ignorance, a world where even the leaders of nations further spread such mean-spirited rhetoric and rile up negative emotions? How can we deal with attacks that seem to be coming from all sides? What do we do when we find ourselves on a different side of an issue than those around us?

As a religious person, I believe one of the most important things we can do is to take a step back and reflect on Christ and His teachings, and what that actually means. If you’re not religious, think about what gives you hope, what brings you joy, and the good people in the world. It may be easy to look around and see only the negative, all the things that could be perceived as threats. It can be easy to see the world as black and white, us versus them. When this happens, I have noticed many people start to get a sense of superiority over those they disagree with. And I don’t think that I’m exempt from this. It’s easy to wonder, “how can this person possibly believe in this? How can they think that’s okay?” and it may feel like you alone see the whole picture and know what is right. And yet this attitude is similar to the Pharisees of old, and of the Zoramite people mentioned in the Book of Mormon.

In Alma 31:16-17, a prophet, Alma, and his group hear the Zoramites praying with these words, “Holy God, we believe that thou hast separated us from our brethren, and we do not believe in the tradition of our brethren… but we believe that thou hast elected us to be thy holy children… and thou hast elected us that we shall be saved, whilst all around us are elected to be cast by thy wrath down to hell… and we thank the that thou hast elected us that we may not be led away after the foolish traditions of our brethren.”  If we ever have the impulse to think that we are better than others because of the beliefs we hold, religious or not, we should take a step back and think about what that pride is doing to us. It’s against Christ’s teachings, and it’s against basic human decency.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I do not believe I have a monopoly on morality, or on moral authority. I have met many atheists and agnostics and people from all different types of cultures and religions, and some of them are certainly better than I am, and probably many other members. Separation from others is not the key. We all live near and work with and interact with people who have different opinions and lifestyles than we do, and yet if we look, we can see that they are good people trying to live good lives, just like we are.

And even if they’re not, even if they are living their lives in a way that seems too different, too wrong, and doing things that don’t align with our beliefs, that doesn’t give us the right to judge someone else. As a Christian, I like the verses in Matthew chapter 9:10-12, where it says, “And it came to pass as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, ‘why eateth your master with publicans and sinners?’ But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, they that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.”

Jesus didn’t sit with the supposedly devout and upright members of his faith; he ate with those who had gone astray, or who were outcasts, people who were looked down upon in society. We have plenty of people like that in our day, unfortunately. Minorities, the poor, members of the LGBT+ community, anyone whose lifestyle may be seen as different than the “mainstream.” Christ would not shun these people or drive them away, but He would show them the love He has for them. How can we be an influence for good on those around us, on those who likely need to feel loved and accepted, if we distance ourselves from them?

I believe we can better handle the chaos of the world if we kill it with kindness. When our hearts are full of love for those around us, despite differences, we have more joy and happiness in our lives. In October 2010, the LDS Church president, President Monson spoke about charity. He said “I consider charity—or “the pure love of Christ”—to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper… However, I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient. I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others. There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action…  [It] is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.”

When we treat people who live and think differently than us with love, with a listening ear and an open heart, we are more likely to create a positive view on who we are as individuals and as parts of the groups we may belong to. Reacting by distancing yourself, saying rude things, judging and criticizing, is more likely to create feelings of resentment and bitterness that will benefit no one.

But how do we develop this love? It’s not something that happens overnight, but I think there are a few things that we can do to help. One thing I do as a Christian is to pray for love, and read my scriptures, noticing how Christ responded to people with love and kindness.

Another thing I believe we can do is develop empathy by trying to step into the other person’s shoes. We can try to imagine what it would feel like to struggle with the things they struggle with, and how you would want to be treated. Or to think about what in their life and experiences might bring them to believe or not believe something, or bring them to their stance on a particular issue. It is important not to dismiss someone’s thoughts and opinions simply because they’re different from your own and you’re certain you’re right. Even if there is a right and wrong to an issue, by having open and honest conversations with someone, you could each learn from each other and develop more sympathy and empathy for someone in a different situation than yourself. Having and open mind and heart, and being willing to put yourself in someone else’s shoes brings about more love. Speaking to people in our lives we may disagree with requires a lot of humility, but it will generate a greater feeling of love on both sides.

I have a good friend that has taken a path in life that isn’t exactly a good one. She makes choices that I don’t necessarily agree with, but I always let her know when I’m around so that we can see each other. Even though I don’t agree with all of her choices, and she knows that I don’t, it doesn’t mean I can’t love her and be there for her. She is a person who deserves love. You don’t have to agree with someone to love them.

This world can often seem chaotic, but by developing charity for others through listening, not judging, and developing empathy, I believe we can at least make our corners of the world a happier and more peaceful place. We can have more joy in our hearts and in our lives by putting love for others above our own opinions. As the same President Monson quoted above once said, “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.”

(I would also like to add that it is still important to stand up against racism and bigotry. You can have empathy and love for others and not let hateful attitudes persist. You don’t have to be abused or walked over, have love for yourself as well!)